Your Life In Alignment

So what is a picture of a car alignment doing in a blog about coaching? Ah! Whether coaching is for business, life, or relationships it is about alignment (or realignment).

The purpose of getting tires aligned and balanced is to ensure you have a smoother ride and to ensure you have maximum tire life.  Ensuring personal alignment in your life also helps to make life a smoother ride and ensure you get the maximum happiness and joy from your life, relationships and career.

For example, you can work for the best organization in the world, but if that organization doesn’t share your same values and allow you to freely operate in the realm of your strengths and passions – you’re out of alignment.  In this situation you most likely leave work feeling tired, stressed, rundown and unfulfilled.  Why?  Because you’re not operating in the realm of your passions and values.

The same can be said for working in a profession or role in which you are skilled and do a good job (even a great job), yet feel you burned out long ago and are simply going through the motions. You may even say, “I am good at this, but I don’t really love it. What I wish I would have done with my life is _______________.”

These situations described are only a few of the many situations where people can find themselves out of alignment with the true nature, or essence, of who they are. When you find yourself in these types of situations, life is bumpy and it takes a toll on our bodies, relationships, mind, and emotions (our tires if you will).

Rarely do we, as human beings, take the time to be truly introspective and take a periodic comprehensive look into the life we are living.  I was watching an interview with India.Aire who said for so long she feels she was afraid of failure and success, so she says she lived in the middle – never risking anything to feel alive.  In the middle she found “comfort”, but never fulfillment and feeling true purpose or joy.  This is the way most people move through life.

People find themselves looking in many places to try and continue to find fulfillment.  It could be a larger home, new paint job, their children, and more to give new energy to their lives – and find most often that it is a short term jolt of “happiness.” Why?  Because we love to look outside of ourselves for happiness and meaning versus inside of ourselves first.

So what can you do?

I have included a link below to a tool provided by The Coaches Training Institute.  I use this as a jumping off place for many of my clients to take a cursory look at the areas of their lives.  This allows my client to look at the areas where they want deeper satisfaction and joy, as well as get a view of the balance, or lack of balance, in their lives.

Feel free to use the tool for your own cursory journey into your life and reach out me to discover more of what you can do to gain greater balance in your relationships, career, and life. Learn how to be authentic in all of the areas of your life by realigning your life with what is important to you. “DO YOU” –  NOT THE PERSON SOMEONE ELSE THINGS YOU SHOULD BE.

Click to access Personal-Assessment-Wheel.pdf

 

Leadership Narcism! It’s less about you … No really!

The coaching model I was blessed to be trained under is The Coaches Training Institute’s Co-Active model.  This is built on the unique view that CO and ACTIVE must happen together.

First, CO looks at each person as though they are naturally, creative, resourceful and whole. We are born this way and actually live to be invited to CO-create with others.   Whenever we are in relationship with others, the relationship wants to create something out of the COnnection.

In business, this is what leaders need to get right.  Others are not simply the minions or a means to an end – or your bonus! It is about CO-creating with employees, peers and bosses – Up, Down and Sideways – to maximize business results and outcomes. Could you imagine what the business would be like if there was CO-ACTION? Why it would tear down silos, destroy turf wars, and do a number on corporate/office politics.

When leaders practice Co-Activity they invite others into the space to co-create and then move into powerful action that will increase customer satisfaction, impact profits and expand business outcomes.

How?  Well, that is relative to YOUR business.  It is relative to YOUR market and team.  There is no magic wand that you would wave to duplicate the actions of business A. Your team and organization are unique, so stop treating it like it is akin to all the rest.   Or maybe it is?  When co-activity is not part of the process, then you probably do need to rely on copying your competition (to remain always one step behind).

Co-Activity invites innovation.  Oh, did I mention that you would probably need to also suspend your BUT’s, OR’s, and other limited remarks and thinking? When you do that, your shutting down CO-activity and those you need to work with and through for results.

It is not JUST about you … it is about others and your ability to inspire creativity and action in others. Co-Activity between you and others. Without the CO, you’re simply out there on your own paddling the row-boat all by your lonesome .. pretending to go in the right direction … okay hoping!   Everything else is simply faking it!

Bu, CO-activity is the way to turn the ship into the right direction.  And, you can “get over yourself” because there is a lot less heat in the kitchen when you are co-cooking with others who have different vantage points and great ideas for creating magnificent moves and intentional outcomes. This is what it means to lead and make your  business/team a great place and be well used in the process.

“Everyone” is Porcelain/Plastic

So, this will be an interesting post because it made me think, and also challenged some of my own perceptions.

This weekend I spent some time with family, friends, colleagues and fellow coaching buddies. During the course of the conversation we were speaking about the upcoming life coaching event I and my business partner are putting together.  We were discussing how difficult it was to get individuals in Miami to sign up for the event.  I mean, doesn’t everyone want to live a happier and more fulfilled life and be more authentic in their lives, relationships, careers, etc?

During the many conversations had, someone said that their impression was that Miamians (get ready for a generalization) were not interested in self exploration and improving themselves.  They felt that people in Miami were more, “plastic” or porcelain, and were all about aesthetics, impressions, partying, dancing, and what comes easy versus self actualization and self developmental things.

I had to step back for a moment and analyze my experience over the past 22 years, and did pause for a moment to agree with them to a certain degree – as that was my experience as well – generally speaking!

But, I have also come across small groups of individuals who are about exploring their lives more deeply and wanting to break the pattern of the “rut” in their lives and begin to reshape their lives, careers, relationships.  They want to do the work that can get them close to the life they dream of living, or give to their families, and stop just “surviving or getting by” and really live life full on doing what they love – being who they were born to be.

So, I have to say that there is a percentage of truth in the impression of my friends and colleagues, and there is a sliver of hopefulness that negates the impression from being widely spread across the board.

Ahhh duality! I have met with many individuals who are experiencing emergent changes in their lives currently, and some who have been experiencing the same emergent changes over and over again for years.  Yet, these “changes” continue to paralyze them (inaction), which simply keeps them repeating them over and over again and applying the same old rules, models and way of doing things.  And it fails over and over again!  They continue to present themselves as a porcelain shell of their true selves to protect themselves from moving forward beyond fear, and to keep up the facade with those in their lives that “everything is cool.”  They are faking it .. in hopes of making it.

Then there are those who bravely dive into wanting to do what it takes to keep growing, changing, moving and creating excitement and newness in their lives, careers and relationships.  These individuals are “the few – the proud”, no I don’t mean the marines … They are the brave heroes who are in their lives to “live it” and “win it.”  They aren’t sitting on the sidelines cheering their favorite teams or people in their lives to achieve big – they are cheering themselves on to win big, play big, and love big!

What side are you on?  Let us help you break the porcelain and emerge as the truest, biggest, wildest authentic you that you can be!   The world is waiting for you to be YOU, not the shell of yourself or someone you think you should be.

It all starts with getting clear on what it is you want more of in your life.  Where do you want to play big?  you were born with the unique DNA inside of yourself to make these things happen. You were born naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.  You are amazingly unique and capable.   I hold you bigger than you hold yourself … I see you as manifesting your greatness and talents … And, together we can empower the coaching relationship to make your dream a reality.

 

WTF ??? Jangled and Unchained

Play big or go home .. that is what someone recently told me….. how are you playing? Ready to get real? Don’t wait for New Year’s resolutions …. they are only nice intentions that rarely get beyond the champagne glass.

Want some real change?
Step up!
Step Out!
Step into the real you!

Your journey starts the moment you register!

Someone recently asked specifically what is taking place during this event. Well, if I told you everything it wouldn’t be a surprise .. and we know you like surprises. Okay even if you don’t, it’s necessary. But, what I can tell you is:

During this opportunity you will explore your life purpose, what fulfills you, and get clear on your dream for your future (and those around you). Next, you will identify and leverage those voices (real and internal) that support your journey toward purposeful living and those that derail your achieving complete happiness and fulfillment. I like to call these voices “threshold guardians and “allies”. Think of them like the little angel and devil on your shoulders – only these have the power to propel you or stop you dead in your tracks. WHAT? something has that much control in our life? Yeah! That’s Faked Up™, eh?

It doesn’t stop there! Next, you will step to the edge of comfort to get a picture of what life CAN be like for you and you will create a powerful action plan on how to leverage your new found awareness to propel you and your plan forward – to GET REAL! And, to stop living and leading from the place of limitations, because let’s face it —– It’s Faked Up™.

And just when you thought it was over … you will have 6 weeks worth of life coaching support post event.

There is a lot more included. Want to know more?

Check it out on www.itsfakedup.com and register today to lock in the special rate for a limited time – till June 12.

What is trying to happen?

What is trying to happen ?

.. chat with a friend who tells me that he is being laid off from his job as his “skill set is no longer needed”.   He is fearful and says he is desperate to find “a job”,

… conversation centered on a friend who was laid off (third time around) and isn’t finding a “job” with a “big enough title” or “desired salary” doing what she has always done, despite the knowing of things she has done outside of her “profession” that indicate there are passions elsewhere to be leveraged.

… a businessman tells how he continues to experience decreasing satisfaction in his corporate jobs while admitting that in the end he hasn’t felt fulfilled or well used in a while and that for most of his life he has been  denying what he truly loves doing anyway. He states that he continues the madness for the sake of making the high six figures he has achieved, despite the fact that he says he rarely, if ever, has the time to enjoy using it to do the things he loves and enjoys. He goes through the motions of life robotically.

In each of these situations, and of course there are a thousands of more that can be substituted in their place, something is trying to happen in the lives of these individuals – an emergence, a transformation. The universe wants something more for these individuals.

In our lives we can look at situations myopically and see only the specific situations through tunnel vision, or we can can step back and take the helicopter view to uncover what is trying to happen.  What does the universe, or our life, want for us. What is it trying to show us?

Each situation, pain point, and fear is calling us to look at our lives and heed the hero’s call. The hero’s call is calling us to a quest for movement and change – it calls us to transformation.  We have a choice to ignore the call and continue in the uncomfortable situation and deny ourselves the opportunity to explore new adventures, OR we can accept the journey and move through the adventure – to achieve renewal.

What is experienced by many is that the longer one resists the call to the journey, the louder and stronger the call becomes (i.e. the louder and more uncomfortable and persistent the call becomes- bringing about similarly uncomfortable situations on a more regular basis).

•  The journey is a quest that affords:
• overcoming fears
• deepening self awareness and self love
• fighting literal and figurative “threshold guardians” who seek to keep you paralyzed by fear of the unknown and believing your not good enough, worthy, strong enough realizing and embracing the allies you have in your life that help you on your quest, and
• redesigning your life and celebrating the new normal that you have designed for your life.

So, when we are willing to explore that is trying to happen in our lives, we see that we can reinvent ourselves and, for example, step into a new profession aligned with individual passions versus moving from job to job like Tarzan swings from vine to vine. We can look for a fulfilling purpose in the world versus taking on a job/role that simply provides us money with little to no time to enjoy living and enjoying those people in our lives.

We can “be” intentional! We can live a life filled with conscious decisions that leave us feeling well used, loved, alive, and living/working in alignment with our our deepest passions and what we truly love doing.  The biggest lie we were ever told from birth is that play (enjoyment) is separate from work – our talents and desires are what is exercised through hobbies.

FOUL!!!!!! I am here to throw down the bullshit flag!  THAT bullshit belief keeps individuals living the same useless reality (“groundhog day” the movie) for the rest of their lives – always repeating the same stuff over and over again. STOP THE MADNESS!

Bust out! Stop faking your way through life.  Look at what is happening in you life as an opportunity to change the pattern, break the chains that bind, LIVE ON PURPOSE! Hell … just LIVE!

Be curious about what is trying to happen – why the current situation, discomfort, or pain points are there.  It’s called life, which incidentally is living, breathing, changing, and transforming.  Anything else is death.  Which are you experiencing?  What are you willing to do?  Will you heed the call?  Or, will you sit back and enjoy the continued discomfort of what you call your life?

The Other Side of Fear

 

“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.”   – Marilyn Ferguson

We are frequently confronted with moments in our lives that push us to expand, transform and renew our minds, bodies, relationships, careers and even our way of being in the world and with others. This can often be a bit unsettling (okay .. perhaps that was an understatement .. perhaps a lot unsettling).  And, in these moments we can choose to hide behind the pillow or we can choose to stand an look for what is really possible in the midst of the moment.

We go through life ignoring the subtle messages that arise (okay again… sometimes not so subtle messages) that call us to play bigger in our lives.  These messages can also be viewed as a type of “call” to allow emerging positive outcomes to take place in many areas of our lives.  Of course, staying in mediocrity and safety may be easier, but there is great freedom and newness on the other side of conquering the fear of moving forward.

Oh! Wait! Did I mention that the longer we ignore the call it just gets louder and louder?  And, darn! The longer we wait the more unhappy we become with the current state until we finally bust .. or worse … live in “it” until the day we die? WHAT?? Yeah! Remember the old saying that it’s the things we didn’t  do that we regret the most at the end of life.

BUMMER! That’s depressing, right?

No! What’s depressing is not acting – not embracing what “can be”.

So, what areas are you fighting change in? What areas are you no longer satisfied with when it comes to more of the same?