Your Action is Required

So many intentions and plans simply go astray. If  wishing, in and of itself, could only get everything you wanted accomplished. Yet we know it doesn’t.  How many times have you said, “this time I am going to make it happen?” And, how many times has it not happened?

Well you’re in good company, because we are all human and we all do it. Or, shall I say we don’t do it. Why? Is it because what we want to accomplish isn’t important or meaningful? Is it because it takes too much effort?  No! If it wasn’t important to begin with, you wouldn’t have intended it to begin with. In a world where society and organizations have created this ADHD mentality that we all most follow, we often get so busy with so many things, it’s a wonder we get anything accomplished.  We’ve gotten so busy in life we rarely take the time to deepen the awareness and learning around “what got in the way.” We quickly accept the fact that what we wanted didn’t happen and move on to the next thing that is now to of mind.

When we fail to make something we want happen, it is usually because something else got in the way that was “more important” (at least in the moment).  Of course priorities do shift and sometimes we need to pay attention to more pressing matters; however, if you find this is happening more and more frequently – it’s time to check out the areas of your life that may need a bit more balancing to allow for you to build your skyscraper.

Another reason for not getting the skyscraper built could be a lack of accountability. Yup! That horrible fourteen-letter word that everyone seems to hate. We often make these blueprints in our heads, or even in our personal journals, but never share these plans with anyone.  Oh how clever we’ve become! When we don’t share these plans with others, we don’t have to feel ashamed when we fail. What a vicious cycle huh?

How’s that working for you?

If you’re like most people, you probably beat yourself up over the fact that you intended to do [fill in the blank], but failed – AGAIN! So how do you stop the madness? Get an accountability partner. You see, an accountability partner will hold you responsible for laying the foundation, welding the steel girders and erecting the full skyscraper. And, an accountability partner will help you deepen and forward the learning throughout your journey. Huh?

Well, just getting the thing accomplished is only half the experience. There is sure to be an opportunity to learn more about yourself throughout the process. We can increase our self-awareness around what we did well and what we can perhaps improve on the next time. It’s also a great time to accentuate the amazing work you did, including recognizing the battle you fought against all of those gremlins who tried to keep you paralyzed once again. This is how we grow and evolve as a person.

You may already be thinking, “I don’t have any friends or family members who are savvy enough to  hold me accountable or help me source the learning from my journey.”  Well, the accountability partner may not be just one person. It may be many people, which could include a skilled coach.  You see, a coach has honed powerful skills to help people achieve what they want to accomplish in business and life. One of the most powerful skills we, as coaches, possess is the skill of accountability. We remove judgement from the accountability process and help you track productivity, measure success and recognize the degree of learning.

And why is this so important? So you can repeat the process over and over again … success after success!

 Thom Qafzezi is the President and CEO of Molto Crescendo, a professional coaching & development consulting  company aimed  at amplifying the talents of leaders, teams and organizations. Additionally, Thom is the Co-  Founder  of It’s Faked Up!™, which enables people to live life aligned to their strengths, values and  passions. He  takes  pride in his abilities to infuse the right blend of solutions to bring about the changes his clients desire. These  solutions  incorporate Thom’s decades of coaching, professional development, organizational development and  organizational  psychology expertise. 

Take This Job … Please!

Take this job and shove it!

On a daily basis I encounter people who hate their jobs. Well, what they tell me is that they love their company and what they do.  Most often they tell me they hate their boss.  Did you know that one of the main reasons people leave their jobs is because they work for a manager or leader who makes their life miserable? Organizations hate to hear this because they don’t want to recognize this as truth, even in the “in-humane resources departments“. [Note: I’ve been there in the trenches of HR and leadership and I have seen it – it true!]

This morning on Good Morning America they presented a clip of one of the Super Bowl ads by GoDaddy.com.  In this segment they discussed the upcoming Super Bowl commercial where someone will be quitting their job on national television. And guess what?  This person’s boss has no idea.  Not to imply that this “individual” is quitting for that reason, but bad bosses rarely know they’re about to lose good talent, because they are so deeply self absorbed and/or focused only on the tactical aspects of getting things done. They are often clueless as to what is going on in the minds and hearts of their people. Many times the leader has been put into a position that they were never suited for or groomed for, so they can’t pay attention to their people because they’re too busy trying to convince everyone that they aren’t naked (i.e. the story of the Emperors new Clothes). I digress.

Let’s take a look at what we can expect in the upcoming commercial where this brave individual will announce “I Quit” to the world, and her boss.

I did a little research and found another person who quit their job in a somewhat similar way.  That person’s name is Marina Shifrin.
Marina worked for a multimedia company  and decided she’d had enough of her boss’s one sided view of end results.  She was tired of being a means to an end for her boss.  Let’s watch her video.

That was brave of her, and I am sure there are those out there who would say it was irresponsible. Then again, sometimes you have to take chances in life if you ever want to seize a dream.  Nobody every made their dreams come true sitting on the sidelines. Let’s see what happened to Marina next.

So, what’s the message here?

Well, there is a two fold message to be gleaned here. The primary message is for the bosses out there who are running companies and running their people ragged. Tune in to your employees and see them as individuals who make you successful through their efforts.   These are the people who show up day in and day out managing to get things accomplished despite your tendencies to overlook their contributions to your success.  At the end of the day, you could leave tomorrow and these individuals will continue to make the widgets and satisfy the company’s customers. Your job is not to continually impress those who are responsible for your assent to your level of incompetence (i.e. Peter Principle). Authentically check in with your people and inspire them to follow your vision and make things happen because they feel as though they make a difference and contribute to the bigger picture.  Be human!

This is not a bash on leaders.  Leadership is important, when leadership actually shows up in the workplace.  There are wonderful leaders who display many of the competencies required to truly lead a company and its human assets (yup! Assets). To those leaders – we applaud you!  You’re making a difference in the lives of your employees and enjoying returns on your investment in the areas of retention and the discretionary effort of your employees.

As mentioned, there is a two fold message. The second message is for employees who find themselves in the situation of wanting to leave their job due to a “horrible boss”, or to embrace something they have always wanted to do.  If your situation is that of a horrible boss, then you must make a decision as to what your next move will be. Every situation is different and the plan of action depends on how open your organization is to hearing what you have to say, and then doing something about it. It also has a lot to do with your bosses ability to collaboratively work toward a solution of alleviating your displeasure. AND, it has a lot to do with your own ability to professionally and co-actively work toward a workable solution.

Stand by your job … (sung to the tune of Stand By Your Man – Loretta Lynn)

There are times when an employee needs to, or should, remove them-self from a situation no longer in alignment with their passions, strengths and dreams. Sometimes this can be as a result of working for a leader or company where their values are divergent from that of the leader or company culture. It’s not easy to do, but it is possible to stand in your own personal power and make these decisions. I would never condone simply quitting a job without a plan forward, so I want to be sure I make it very clear to not proceed with caution when choosing to leave your job. But, do something! Never accept a bad situation.  When you accept a situation that is less than optimal you allow the situation to erode your self esteem and view of your own personal value.  It’s kind of like remaining in an emotionally abusive relationship.  You will find yourself having to dig your way out of the hole you’ve allowed yourself to be placed in, and it can take years to undo the damage.  And by the way … at the end of life, you will not get a badge of courage or a crown for being a martyr and remaining in a bad job – to begin living at time of retirement. You’ll spend the rest of your life trying to lick your wounds and “find yourself” through the haze of all the emotional distress you’ve pushed deep inside of yourself during the “bad days” of working for the “horrible bosses”.

Do it! Be Brave.

On a brighter note, you can do what you enjoy doing. Do it whether it is for a company or for yourself (entrepreneur). Make sure  your career affords you the ability to work in the areas of your passions, strengths and unique values. This will make your career (notice I didn’t say job) one that makes you want to get up in the morning and do what you love to do on a daily basis. It makes work fun. Yes, work can be fun.  The old school mentality of work being drudgery is long gone.  Or, at least it is working its way out of the workforce as the traditionalists retire. Heck, even the baby boomers are figuring it out now that they are getting out of the workplace.  They are consistently saying they want to do NOW, those things they didn’t allow themselves the luxury of doing their entire work life. So, BE BRAVE! Be brave enough to question what you are doing and who you are doing it for.  Who are you living for?  You can find balance … no really! Balance does exist and you can hopefully find it where you are.   If not, there is always other options. The world is a big place and there is life outside of the brick and mortar box you find yourself in for 40-60 hours a week.

Let’s end on this beautiful anthem to being BRAVE!  And, let’s all cheer on the GoDaddy commercial this Super Bowl Sunday when one lucky person QUITS to embrace her dream.  Cheers to the brave!

Pure Imagination – Let It Shift Your World

“Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to 3.
Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination.
Take a look and you’ll see into your imagination…”
– from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Your World of Imagination. Your Prison?

Your world has been created by your own imagination. Yes, it’s true.  Your world is shaped by the imagination within you, and that imagination has been shaped by the world around you. It includes the shaping of your hopes, dreams, fears and sense of limitations. And, it’s all made up!

In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz states that we have been domesticated by our schools, churches, parents and society.  In doing so we have accepted (agreed to things) certain “truths”  we hold to be true. FOREVER! In making these agreements, we have created a world we believe to be true – the world in which we operate, personally.  I am speaking here of each individual’s personal world, although something could be said for the fact that cumulatively when enough people buy into a “truth”, the whole can limit the world we live in. But, that is another story and another posting for another day. This “world” we have created has created a safe and predictable space in which to operate.  And, in some sense of reality this is a good thing because it keeps us operating on a level that continues to ensure we get to work, take care of ourselves, feed ourselves, and other aspects of the lower levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. But, they can significantly hamper our desire for self actualization.

The point of today’s blog post is that you can shift your world by shifting those agreements, and beliefs, that keep you limited.  In many, or most, cases you have agreed to these truths without ever having thought about them rationally.  You have bought them hook, line and sinker.  Yes! Sinker. Because often that is what they [these truths] do for us. – they sink our hopes and dreams, and they significantly limit our view of what is possible. One of the biggest truths (lies) we have been taught in growing up is not to question authority figures.  While this may serve and protect children for a specific stage of growth, it is one of those beliefs that need to be let go of, as we grow into rationally thinking adults.  Unfortunately, as a nation, we have raised generations of Americans who have lost the ability to rationally think through situations and life in general.  How convenient, because for generations we have all learned, supported and handed down these similar limiting truths. These truths that weren’t meant to serve us for a lifetime of growth and evolution. For you see, this vicious cycle continues to keep us in a world that struggles with changes. It influences our need to embrace mediocrity and it limits the imagination of our children, communities, nations, businesses leaders, etc.  Convention should be a four letter word.  In a world where innovation is key to survival, our world reinforces mediocrity for sense of comfort. Yet this comfort is making us miserable, unfulfilled, and destined to repeat mistakes of the past.  The world is always changing. Nature shifts on a daily basis, and yet we struggle to keep things the same.  We need to take a lesson from nature and realize that the seasons are teaching us that there is a time for new growth, workign hard, enjoying the harvest and abundance of life, and then letting things die for the promise of newness of spring. It is a cycle, not a four stop journey leading to a casket. No! Life is a continuous cycle of these seasons and should be lived as a personal evolution at each stage of these “seasons”, if you will.  We are meant to evolve as human beings.

Growth: Progressive development. To Evolve. To change or develop into a better, more complex, or more advanced state. 

Don’t Quit. Switch It!

Your world can be significantly enhanced. By replacing the “truths” that you have agreed to, with new truths that support and inspire your personal growth – you are evolving as a human being. This is your journey and your birthright on this earth. Begin to notice when you are limiting yourself, or others, by your personal beliefs.  Don’t beat yourself up over these beliefs or try to justify why they are right. Simply notice when they’re showing up in your opinions.  Then, take a moment to ask yourself where that belief began. Ask yourself these questions to springboard your own personal transformation:

Where did it come from?
Who did it come from?
How is it serving you?
How is it limiting your transformation and evolution as a person, a mom, a dad, a friend, or as a leader?
What would be possible if you were to exchange this “truth” for a different one?

Leadership Narcism! It’s less about you … No really!

The coaching model I was blessed to be trained under is The Coaches Training Institute’s Co-Active model.  This is built on the unique view that CO and ACTIVE must happen together.

First, CO looks at each person as though they are naturally, creative, resourceful and whole. We are born this way and actually live to be invited to CO-create with others.   Whenever we are in relationship with others, the relationship wants to create something out of the COnnection.

In business, this is what leaders need to get right.  Others are not simply the minions or a means to an end – or your bonus! It is about CO-creating with employees, peers and bosses – Up, Down and Sideways – to maximize business results and outcomes. Could you imagine what the business would be like if there was CO-ACTION? Why it would tear down silos, destroy turf wars, and do a number on corporate/office politics.

When leaders practice Co-Activity they invite others into the space to co-create and then move into powerful action that will increase customer satisfaction, impact profits and expand business outcomes.

How?  Well, that is relative to YOUR business.  It is relative to YOUR market and team.  There is no magic wand that you would wave to duplicate the actions of business A. Your team and organization are unique, so stop treating it like it is akin to all the rest.   Or maybe it is?  When co-activity is not part of the process, then you probably do need to rely on copying your competition (to remain always one step behind).

Co-Activity invites innovation.  Oh, did I mention that you would probably need to also suspend your BUT’s, OR’s, and other limited remarks and thinking? When you do that, your shutting down CO-activity and those you need to work with and through for results.

It is not JUST about you … it is about others and your ability to inspire creativity and action in others. Co-Activity between you and others. Without the CO, you’re simply out there on your own paddling the row-boat all by your lonesome .. pretending to go in the right direction … okay hoping!   Everything else is simply faking it!

Bu, CO-activity is the way to turn the ship into the right direction.  And, you can “get over yourself” because there is a lot less heat in the kitchen when you are co-cooking with others who have different vantage points and great ideas for creating magnificent moves and intentional outcomes. This is what it means to lead and make your  business/team a great place and be well used in the process.